nothing kills date night like...

It was all going so well. Sigh.

I should start by saying that Hunter and I aren't the mooshy kind of couple. we laugh hard together, we sharpen one another...but I don't think anyone has ever accused us of being too lovey dovey.

I should also tell you that a while back we made an unwritten rule about not going to nice restaurants by ourselves. The main reason being that we (I, really) feel the need to have really deep, wonderful, big picture conversations when we're in that kind of atmosphere. There's just too much pressure.

anyway, last night we didn't hold to that rule (in part because amazing friends of ours gave us a gift certificate to Mezzanine...Richmond's top restaurant of 2009). it was delicious.

the conversation was fabulous as well. having kids has made any date night (anywhere besides in the house) wonderful. We were catching up about how we really feel like things are going in the family. what our next few weeks look like. how to make space for each other to continue to grow (spiritually in particular).

Then we got to chatting about the content of Hunter's work. If you know me well, you should be giving me serious points right now. That isn't something I typically or naturally do well. I like talking about what makes people tick. What makes them make the choices they make. What they really dream about doing. Why they love or don't love something.

Further, my family didn't grow up talking about work. We are all so talkative and close, but somehow I went years without knowing what my sister did for a living. I suppose I could have told you her title but never really knew what that meant. When we first got married I felt threatened by all of Hunter's questions about my day.

So, anyway, as bad as this is, conversation about the nitty gritty of day-in day-out work is a little blah for me.

Not last night though. I was right there with him. engaged as could be.

(you can confirm w/HT if this is really right) but Hunter's job is basically to help people make hard choices about what projects and ideas can actually happen in the time frame they want...and what ideas/projects they want to do can't happen because of various constraints. The people he's working with have tons of great ideas. ideas out the wazoo. but, like in all of life, you have to make hard choices if you really want to finish anything well and on time.

and then he said it. and it ruined our date. and my last 18 hours.

"it is hard. I basically have to help people choose their children"

I think he talked for at least another minute (without me hearing a word) before my eyes started brimming and I said something like. "I'm sorry. I'm done. I can't concentrate anymore. I'm going to start crying really hard in a second so we should probably try to leave soon."

it is a harmless, well articulated analogy. perfectly describes what Hunter's job really is. totally appropriate verbage. but ruined me nonetheless.

You see, some people really do get to the point where they have to choose which children they can keep. their real children.

we have no information, so we can only wonder. did isaiah's birth mother have to do that? was it her family's devastating poverty that led to our enormous wealth: having Isaiah as our son? oh jesus please be merciful.

nothing ruins a date night like reality.
help us to weep, O Lord.