God is so good!!!!

Sorry if your heart skipped a beat as you read the subject line. We did not get our approval today. I know...I'm a terrible friend for tricking you.

And, what's crazier is that, actually, I'm glad we didn't get our approval today. Okay, okay, I'm not actually glad...that's an overstatement, BUT, I'm thankful I have the chance to say this: God is good today. God was good yesterday. God is going to be good tomorrow. No matter what.

It would have been so easy for me to write lots of pitiful (but honest!) posts about longing...and then if/when approval day comes to say "God is so good!" That's like the whole Old Testament (and perhaps like my whole life). A bunch of whining and grumbling and then people perceive that God has given them what they need and want and they say "God is so good--we'll never question you again." And then they (I) do...over and over again.

This doesn't mean I'm going to pretend like I don't ache. Like I don't long every single day that God would quicken the day that our kid is home with us. We're certainly not supposed to act like things are just fine when in reality, our circumstances (or, in our case, our kid's circumstances) are objectively difficult. But, our joy is supposed to be based in something much deeper and unchanging. And today I feel it and I know that God deserves credit for it. Sorry for robbing Him of it for a while.

So, God is good, even if:

• We don't get our approval this week, next week...or at all
• Our treasured child comes home with permanent medical issues or Lucy, Hunter or I get sick with some kind of permanent medical issue
• Our chosen child comes home with developmental delays
• Our beloved child comes home and has attachment issues
• Our family is ridiculed, stared at and looked down upon
• Our child from Rwanda has identity issues because he/she lives in a family with white parents and a white sister
• Lucy has emotional issues because people always make comments about our other, adorable African child and they don't even notice she's there (catch me on this one please!)

God is unchanging in His goodness. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good!

(Sorry again for tricking you)