close your computers people!

So, I tend towards black and white thinking. A way of doing things (like parenting, learning about God, chopping vegetables, whatever) is great and a different way is bad/wrong. when the reality is, there are pros and cons to most approaches and/or there are different seasons that call for different means and (duh) it isn't necessarily the case that one way is always better. I catch myself doing this all the time. With ill-conceived thoughts or words I malign people who aren't doing things the same way as me.

anyway, here's why I'm thinking about this:

Lately I have benefited greatly from not having my computer around as much. I'm more focused on my kids. I'm sleeping more...or doing other things in bed more. I'm trusting God loves me and doesn't need my effort (study, writing and work) to accomplish what He's doing in this world. (this is a big one for me as, for example, a lot of friends/former colleagues are at Q learning from people I love learning from...and I'm not there. (thought life: i'm falling behind. people might not think as highly of me. I need to make sure I read all of the content to stay up-to-speed...) you can see why it is good that my computer has been closed more, no?!

anyway, I think it is best for my kiddos that I keep it closed for a while. And I'm also learning a lot (about myself) because of it. I think this is where God has me.

well, naturally all of you should be doing the exact same thing. let me restate that. if you aren't doing that and you're spending a lot of time reading/writing blogs, or on facebook or whatever, I judge you. you're inferior.

ugh. why couldn't I just stop at being thankful for what God is showing me?

why does it have to go there in my mind so fast? why do I start judging others' activities so quickly without the chance of knowing what God might be doing in them?! How they might be in a totally different place and so it is GREAT that they are learning from people, growing an encouraging community, enjoying a break. whatever. why can't I imagine (or why don't I try to imagine a scenario) where someone is more self-controlled and able to regulate their time in a healthy way? why do I assume everyone is a glory hog like me? why am I so freaking insecure that I need everyone's active agreement (which means we all do the same thing) to affirm what God is teaching me?

So, here's to a gracious God who loves me despite my crap. Who knows you far better than me. who knows me (and how to win my heart) better than anyone. who creatively works in our lives in different ways. who is making your fruit beautiful and distinct...and different than mine. which increases the beauty of the garden.

oh yeah, and here's to an incredible new friend, Susie. a sincere, and I believe, lasting friendship, that of course, never would have started if I hadn't spent so much time on my computer for the past 12 months. hmmmm. I miss you and your adorable kids. team thom 4-eva.

PS, and lest you think this was reserved for computer usage. you better be adopting, living in an urban context, thrift shopping, not showering too often, not driving a minivan (yet...but check back soon) and wearing purple. just kidding, sort of. ugly ugly ugly I tell you!

PSS I hope this doesn't make anyone too afraid 0r paranoid to be my friend. I don't always think ugly thoughts...it is me, not you. and I think I sometimes know that.

PSSS. don't be afraid to comment (communicating that you've read this..which means your computer is open) because that would cause problems in one of my other issues: attention/pride. I NEED approval people. JK. you don't have to comment.