stability and ambition's whisper

I’m reading a book on stability and I’m all fired up J. “the Wisdom of Stability—rooting faith in a mobile culture” by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove.

He totally gets that some have to “go” and that God calls us to that…but here he’s talking about opposing the culture we’re in where we’re paralyzed by choice, always looking for the next big change (for me, a new house in the neighborhood, pregnancy/adoption, moving to Rwanda, etc.) I am sure that for many, it is harder to go/change than to stay, to be quiet than to speak out. But, as you know, that’s not my nature…that’s why reading about silence and stability moves me to repentance.

Of course we’re called to obedience, not stability. But some of these writings have helped me to discern obedience in my life. (I know some of you know the story about God showing/telling me (when I was all hung up on big picture legacy and service) that my legacy was “to have a marriage that our children will want to have”. Definitely not what I was expecting.

Anyway, I thought you would enjoy this, with me.

From the foreward:
“Drawing on the 1700-year old Christian tradition of monastic wisdom, the author reminds us that when we opt for stability we face a cosmic struggle. There are internal battles, of course, mostly with the demons of anger, pride, and boredom. But to commit to stability also means accepting other people as they are. How dreary to consider that God has given us this family, this spouse, these colleagues on the job, this church congregation. Surely we are meant for more important things, and our talents will be better appreciated by a more sophisticated crowd…. One of the more radical premises of this book is that there comes a time to set seeking aside. But as the romance of our initial religious experience fades, and the reality of life with other human beings in a church congregation seem too much to bear, we are tempted to move on. Wilson-Hartgrove asks us to stop a moment and ask “if we might abandon our seeking, settle down, and allow God to find us where we are.”

From Chapter 5:
“Ambition’s Whisper
Gordon Crosby moved to Washington, DC, in the late 1940s to start Church of the Savior, a church based on small groups long before small groups became a strategy for church growth among nondenominational evangelicals. Committed to radical discipleship and social engagement—what Cosby called the “inward journey and the outward journey”—Church of the Savior became well known for holistic mission while most American Chrisitans were still divided between a commitment to the “social gospel” and an emphasis on personal salvation. By the 1960s, word had gotten out about this interesting experiment in Christian discipleship. Cosby was flooded with invitations to travel and speak about Church of the Savior. Like Abba Antony before him, Cosby was called from his cell by seekers and friends alike.

Seeing these speaking engagements as an opportunity to extend Church of the Savior’s ministry, Cosby initially accepted as many as he could. Increasingly, though, he was unsure how to balance the local work of pastoring a church with this national speaking ministry. In the midst of his confusion, Cosby heard God speak to him in an undeniable way. The message was simple: “Stay home and do your knitting.”

Reflecting on his ministry nearly half a century later, Cosby looks back on that vocational struggle as a turning point in his life and in the life of Church of the Savior. He decided to turn down the speaking invitations and focus on the people God had gathered in a small community. His “knitting,” as it turned out, was not very exciting work most days. It included a lot of listening to people, trying to hear what God was up to in their lives. It looked like prayer, especially with people who were confused or felt like they had failed. It meant paying attention to people’s gifts and encouraging them. for over half a century, Cosby spent his best energies finding ways to support the things people felt called to when they listened to God’s heart.

By any assessment, the Church of the Savior’s ministry over the past fifty years has had an influence disproportionate to the relatively small size of its membership. In 2008 alone, 800 people found jobs and 325 new housing units were built through its ministries in Washington, D.C. The founder of Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) and a moderator of the Reformed Church in America have been raised up from among this flock. Progressive evangelical leader Jim Wallis wrote in 1997 that Church of the Savior “has had more influence around the country than any other church I know about.” Like the trees in the book of Revelation that bear fruit in season, this community of faith has grown into the abundance of divine fertility.

…

Many of us who choose stability will have to struggle, as Cosby did, with the midday demon of ambition. Its voice is subtle, often suggesting new and exciting things that are undeniably good work. Ambition suggestions are deceptively attractive because they can rarely be dismissed outright. There is, after all, no way to say beforehand what sort of extended vocation healthy growth might lead to. God’s people in any place may be called to put out new branches, consider new ministries, even extend our boundaries beyond the limits we had originally imagined. To refuse growth outright is to contradict nature, like the feet that were once bound by Chinese emperors for the sake of an ideal of beauty that debilitated the women it was forced upon. Some growth is natural for any living creature.

but ambition tempts us to forsake the mundane for the sake of unlimited growth—or at least, new opportunities. We are easily unimpressed by the ordinary, longing for the feeling of excitement that comes with a new task to take up, new people to engage, new challenges to face. The repetition of the daily grind wears on us, tempting us to think that nothing ever changes unless we break out of our routine and change the conditions of our everyday life. When we are frustrated by life’s difficulties, afraid we’re not measuring up, ambition whispers, “maybe you’re not doing what you were made for. Maybe your talent could shine brighter if you were doing something else.
…

The tension between fidelity and ambition is evident in the decisions we all make about our own personal development. Even if we’re committed to stick with people in the place where we are, ambition tempts us to invest our best energy in something more exciting than the daily tasks of cooking meals, cleaning the church, taking care of children, doing the laundry, planning a block party, or keeping the books. At the end of a long day, an activity as banal as Web surfing can seem more exciting than conversation with a friend or neighbor. Who hasn’t been distracted in the midst of a normal exchange with the person in front of them by the thought, “maybe I should check my email”?