maybe you're not like me.
maybe you didn't have days when you (over)thought about people's excitement about your child's adoption.
Maybe you didn't count the number of people "following" you or commenting on posts or facebook comments.
Maybe you didn't have days where you thought "I better write something or my people [whoever 'my people' are] will stop reading my blog."
You see, when all the fanfare of the adoption is past (for most followers that's the gotcha day video). you go back to normal. you seemingly anonymously slip back into the adventure of life called raising your children.
It reminds me of how people tell you to spend 2x as much time preparing for marriage as you do planning your wedding. You see, you're marrying a wonderful sinner... so don't get too caught up in the dress, the cake, the invitations, etc. Or else you'll be shocked to find yourself less prepared as a spouse. and don't think that marriage is just awesome. it is a lot of work! sure, there's a balance of excitment and preparation...but don't just dream.
In the same way it is easy as we approach adoption to idealize these kids. To make them idols as we think about them from afar. or to think only of the gotcha moment. YES we should long for them, love them, etc. But, we shouldn't fool ourselves into thinking they're more than they are.
So, let me invite you to repent (with me) of the attention-seeking we're prone to desire...that's perhaps exposed more after the adoption is complete and you're 'normal' again. and let me invite you to think as much about parenting your child as getting him/her.
You're adopting a sinner. not every day is going to feel like your gotcha day. not every day will there be people (you don't know) cheering you on. you're going to need a lot of grace. love. information. support. don't get too caught up in the magic moments (although they really really are a taste of heaven) or the blogging.
but maybe you're not like me.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
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I join you in repenting, regrouping, refocusing on being the mother I want to be - for all my kids.
ReplyDeleteYou're a great friend. I'm glad I'm a lot like you.
We're all in for the long haul together. Even though we don't have Roman yet, I know I'm going to be emailing you all for support in the months and years afterward.
ReplyDeleteKayan
Great Post. Lots of truth there.
ReplyDeleteSo True!!!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty Adrianne. I'm only at the very beginning of the process, but I find that I have to constantly re-adjust my perspective. It is nice to have bloggy friends cheering you on, but on days when I post something, I have to resist checking for comments often. :) Please know that I appreciate your posts so much and am taking it all in for the future.
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister. We haven't met our child yet, but I've been thinking along the same lines as your post. It's so easy to get caught up in the process and forget about the reality of the rest of our lives. Thanks for sharing this. And, by the way, your kids are ADORABLE.
ReplyDeleteHang on. Isaiah - a sinner? No way, that's not the boy I saw throwing granola bars and banging the window with a shoe!!
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. Joining in our need for Jesus as we raise our kids, love our spouses and share with people about the hope we have in Christ.
So, you're learning some stuff, eh? I love you Adrianne. Never a dull moment in your heart. I'll be praying for you in this new season with your two children. Love you.
ReplyDeleteSo exciting! We are just getting to the fanfare stage! We are giddy and anxious! DTR this week!
ReplyDeleteAnd love this post- good for those of us waiting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this - what a good reminder.
ReplyDelete